Building a Marriage That Lasts

We live in a world where giving up often feels easier than pressing through. When a marriage is hurting, it’s tempting to think, “Maybe this just isn’t going to work.” We’ve been there. We also discovered something powerful: God doesn’t just want to save marriages — He wants to rebuild them stronger than before. This journal entry is a reminder that your story isn’t over, even when things feel impossible.

The Foundation of Lasting Marriage Help

Saving a marriage starts with recognizing that our efforts alone aren’t enough. Many couples try harder without getting healthier. But what truly brings transformation is going back to God’s original blueprint.

“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.” – Psalm 127:1

We had to lay down our pride, expectations, and pain to allow God build something new in both of us. Surrendering our own wants and desires wasn’t easy. It meant confronting our individual brokenness before pointing out each other’s faults. The real change didn’t begin by trying to fix each other, but by allowing God do heart surgery in each of us. As we embraced repentance and humility of our own faults, the door opened to healing within our hearts. We began seeing our marriage through God’s eyes.

Return to the Blueprint

Marriage was never meant to be a contract based on convenience. The contract mentality allows an "open door" to possibly terminate the marriage when things get difficult. Marriage is a covenant that means a holy promise rooted in love, sacrifice, and commitment. When we stopped seeing our marriage as a competition and started treating it as a partnership, everything changed.

God’s blueprint for marriage isn’t rigid or outdated. It’s redemptive. Marriage requires sacrificial love toward one another to follow God’s blueprint as intended from the beginning of creation.

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24.

Sacrificial love requires more than effort — it requires the God.

What That Looked Like for Us:

• ·       Choosing to serve each other even when we didn’t feel like it

• ·       Asking for help through Christian marriage coaching

• ·       Speaking words of life instead of blame

• ·       Praying together again, even when it felt awkward

• ·       Saying “I forgive you” before we felt like it

• ·       Choosing unity over winning arguments or competition

The truth is, when we follow God’s plan, things begin to realign. Not overnight. But little by little, what seemed like the impossible became a reality.

Marriage Support Through Daily Choices

Saving your marriage isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a daily choice to love, forgive, and show grace. The small things matter. We didn’t wake up one day with a fully healed relationship — it was built choice by choice and decision by decision.

• ·       Say “I’m sorry” quickly and choose to forgive (release the emotional hurt)

• ·       Make your marriage first priority after your relationship with God

• ·       Make time to talk (without distractions)

• ·       Speak one word of encouragement every day

• ·       Celebrate progress, even if it’s small

• ·       Choose empathy before advice

• ·       Be honest without being harsh

These small moments of intentionality compound into safety, trust, and emotional intimacy.

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” – Galatians 6:9

What we discovered is that saving your marriage doesn’t always look like grand gestures. Often, it’s simply choosing not to give up each day.

What Saving a Marriage Requires

Saving your marriage doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intentional action and a commitment to stay in the process. That means confronting wounds, addressing fears, and being honest about what needs to change.

Here’s what we had to learn:

• ·       Humility: admitting where we were wrong

• ·       Grace: extending kindness even when it’s hard

• ·       Truth: being honest about what hurt and what needed to change

• ·       Help: inviting someone to walk with us, like a coach, mentor, or counselor

We learned that marriage support often begins when we acknowledge we can’t do it alone. Asking for help isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom. When we began receiving coaching for ourselves, we didn’t just find tools — we found hope.

Real Transformation Happens Over Time

There were seasons where one of us was more hopeful than the other. But we agreed to stay in the process. God honored that. Sometimes it was messy. Sometimes we slipped back into old patterns. But we kept coming back. We kept choosing each other. And God kept showing up.

We want to say this clearly: if you’re walking through pain right now, you’re not alone. It’s not too late. The enemy wants to isolate you, but God wants to restore you.

There Is Hope for Your Marriage

We’ve seen marriages on the brink of collapse find new life. We’ve watched couples who barely spoke to each other rediscover laughter. We’ve lived it ourselves. That’s why we’re so passionate about offering marriage help and marriage support to other couples.

God’s grace meets you where you are—but He loves you too much to leave you there. Whether your marriage is hanging by a thread or you’re just longing for deeper connection, there’s a path forward.

“Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?” – Isaiah 43:19

You don’t have to figure it all out. You just have to take the next right step.

To read more about this topic, please visit this article by FamilyLife.

Additional insights for making a marriage last are available from Focus on the Family.

George and Tondra Gregory share their powerful insights on building a strong, faith-filled marriage.

If you’re ready to fight for your marriage, we’re here to walk with you.
Contact us to begin your journey with Christian coaching.

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