When Marriage Feels One-Sided

There’s a particular kind of heartache that comes when you feel like the only one fighting for your marriage. One spouse is checked out emotionally, mentally, or spiritually—sometimes all three. The other is praying, trying, clinging to hope, and asking God daily, “What more can I do?”

If that sounds like where you are right now, please know: you are not forgotten and your situation is not beyond hope. We’ve walked through seasons where one of us felt unseen, unheard, and alone in the fight. We also learned a deep truth: God honors those who stand in the gap.

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)

Marriage help doesn’t always begin with two hearts moving toward healing. Sometimes, it starts with one spouse courageously saying, “Lord, use me.”

The Strength of One Faithful Heart

When just one person chooses to stay rooted in God, anchored in love, and committed to healing — God moves. He doesn’t need both spouses to be ready at the same time to begin restoration. This does not mean that anyone should stay in an abusive situation. Sometimes, distance and separation are required for the other spouse to seek help. Read more about how Sheila stood on God’s vision for our marriage when I gave up many times.

We often misunderstand strength. We think of it as bold actions, loud declarations, and visible victories. But real strength is sometimes silent:

• It looks like praying behind closed doors.

• ·       It looks like putting on spiritual armor to fight the unseen battles.

• ·       It looks like choosing peace instead of retaliation.

• ·       It looks like showing up with love when you feel unseen.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:21 (NKJV)

This is where marriage support becomes personal and powerful. It starts with one surrendered heart, willing to let God lead.

Five Ways to Stand Strong When You’re Standing Alone

1. Heal from Within

You can’t carry your spouse’s heart, but you can allow God to carry yours.

Saving your marriage begins by acknowledging your emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. That’s not selfish. It’s healthy.

• Find Christian counseling or coaching

• ·       Allow time for prayer and journaling

• ·       Name your pain, but don’t live in it

• ·       Speak God’s truth over your identity daily

Your healing matters — not just for the marriage, but for you.

2. Let Go of the “Fix”

You may desperately want change — and quickly. But if you’re clinging to a timeline or trying to change your spouse, you’ll exhaust yourself.

Instead, release the outcome to God. He sees more than you do, and His timing is always perfect.

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV)

3. Love Unconditionally, Not Blindly

Loving your spouse when they seem unresponsive is not weakness. It’s spiritual maturity. However, unconditional love doesn’t mean enabling hurtful behavior.

Marriage support means:

• Speaking the truth in love

• Serving from a place of strength

• Not rewarding neglect or abuse

• Unconditional love should come with healthy boundaries and clear communication.

4. Stay Anchored in Prayer

Prayer is not a last resort; it’s your lifeline. If you’re feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, or alone, turn to the One who truly sees you. Pray for your spouse’s heart. Pray for your own healing. Pray for patience and vision. When you don’t know how to pray and your words run out, simply sit in God’s presence.

Prayer keeps your spirit aligned with hope. It opens your heart to healing, even when circumstances haven’t changed yet.

5. Find Godly Support

You weren’t meant to walk this path in isolation. Seek out other believers who will remind you of truth, stand with you in prayer, and speak life over your situation. Whether through a Christian marriage coach, a local church, or an online support group, God often speaks encouragement through His people.

“Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NKJV)

What We Learned When You’re the Only One Standing

We know what it feels like to pour everything into your marriage and still feel like nothing is changing. There were times when one of us prayed silently at night while the other withdrew. The house felt quiet, but our hearts were screaming.

In those quiet places, God whispered truth:

• “You are not alone.”

• “I am working even when you can’t see it.”

• “Your love is not wasted.”

Eventually, the heart that had grown cold began to thaw. The wall that seemed immovable started to crack. We weren’t perfect — not by a long shot. But we kept showing up. God did what only He could do.

If You’re the Only One Trying…

Please don’t give up. Your consistency matters. Your prayers are heard. Your faith is not wasted. This is not the end of your story.

Marriage help is available. Marriage support is here and you don’t have to carry this alone any longer. Let us walk with you. We offer faith-based guidance, a listening ear, and biblical encouragement tailored to where you are.

Reach out at journey2unity.com/contact

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